The Housewives of....

Oh how I love me a good dosage of Housewives! All week I have been waiting for The Real Housewives of DC Reunion Part 2. Part 1 was insane. Part 2, I imagine, is going to be like watching feeding time at the zoo. Michaele and Tareq don't even stand a chance! Not a single, itty bitty chance. And I swear if he does that annoying pucker lip thing tonight, I'm going through the tv Willy Wonka style to let him know that only models, Lisa Rinna, and Angelina Jolie can purse their lips together and make it look normal. When normal people do it, we look stupid. Super stupid. Amazingly brain cell deficient.

May I present, exhibits 1, 2, and 3.

And just to prove that I'm not the only one who thinks pursed or puckered lips look stupid - go to The Puckered Lips - verry funny!

Anyway - back to the Housewives!

Isn't it funny to think that when The Real Housewives of Orange County appeared we thought that they were scandalous and crazy???? Oh how we were wrong!!! I think we have built our reality tv tolerance up so high that unless these bitches are downright screaming at each other and flipping tables, we aren't interested anymore. For example, today Bravo was airing all of the previous Housewives' Reunion specials and when I heard the OC group snip and snap at each other - it didn't quite have the bite that I like when I'm watching The Housewives.

I mean, come on. Slade fornicating dating 3 housewives? Eh. Happy Herpes! The women talking about all of the work they haven't had done to their faces and bodies? Ladies, you'll never be pretty enough if you don't start loving yourself first (and btw - EVERYONE knows that you've had work done. You don't get the large chested, high cheeked, bloated lip, pinched nose, mile high eyebrow look without some major anesthesia). Most of the families bragging about how much they have and spending TONS of money on stupid stupid things and then declaring bankruptcy? Pffft. Old news and pay your bleeping bills like most everyone else on the planet.

I think Bravo! should think outside the box and start featuring REAL housewives. Like The Real Housewives of Some Village in Africa... don't you think it would be mesmerizing to watch all of the housewives slaughtering guinea pigs and using their blood as make up?? Or how about The Real Housewives of 8 Mile? I'm sure it would be riveting to watch those bitches smack a ho or teach their children about how to get the perfect combination of gin and juice. I cannot wait! I'm going to call Andy Cohen and pitch him my ideas.

Alright! Got to go! Time to get my pitch on!