Roxy the Rambler

When I was 17, I had a job, a thirst to be anywhere but where I was, and a general lack of interest in anything pertaining to high school, graduating high school, or my future. Being in that head space, the thought of owning a car felt like the golden ticket. It felt like freedom. It felt like a way to escape the discord at home with my family.

At this time in history the internet was just coming to its fruition. AIM was a big deal and Ebay was an even bigger deal. I found the Seafoam Green 1961 AMC Rambler Sedan on Ebay and my life was forever changed. The thought of driving around a quirky old classic car made my heart race. It had a push button transmission and the front seat folded backwards to perfectly match up with the back seat to create a double bed (I was 17. Not the Virgin Mary.). It was true love.

In the dead of Winter during a horrific blizzard my Dad, Brother, and I drove to right outside of Philadelphia to pick up this beauty. Yeah she had sat in a garage with no love since 1976. Yeah the guy who owned her had lost the keys. Yeah there were ancient Chiclets in the glove box and a Star of David magnet on the dashboard (left over from the original owner - a little Jewish old man that had owned her prior to 1976). But for $500 - she was mine. I don't remember exactly why I had named her Roxy on that treacherous ride home with her hoisted up on a flatbed, but it stuck.

My Dad has always been a handy guy; constantly fixing, tweaking, and improving everything and anything. He had promised that it wouldn't take anything more than a couple of hundred bucks and some good old fashioned elbow grease to get the old girl back up and running in no time.

That was 13 years ago.

I have never once driven Roxy. As I got older and had found other newer and improved methods of transportation (hondas with air conditioning, cd players, air bags, and seat belts), she just sat in my Dad's garage collecting dust and no more up and running than she was in Philadelphia. You see, the thing about my Dad is that he is a dreamer. He sees the world around him much like that guy in the movie, Big Fish. He is constantly seeing the potential in something and not the actual steps that it takes to get the task completed.

So why am I writing about this today? When I moved in to my 3 car garaged house 2 years ago, Roxy came to live with me because 1. I only have 1 car and 2. My dad had filled his 3 garages with other cars and mountains of tools. Roxy for all intents and purposes is my Dad's car. Being a minor when I purchased her, the car had to go into my Dad's name. I have no legal standing in regards to the ownership of this vehicle.

I have long ago given up the idea that this car would ever be completed and run the way that my Dad imagined. I have zero emotional attachment to this car anymore and would only really like to keep the Star of David magnet, not because I am Jewish, but because it just feels like a symbol of the journey the car has taken.

I brought up Roxy at breakfast with my Dad today and he took it badly. Very badly. Extremely badly. Nuclear fall out badly. He accused me of trying to start a fight by asking him what his intentions are with the car. He hasn't worked on or touched it once since it was moved into my garage 2 years ago, but he is still holding on to the dream that one day - ONE DAY - the car will be fully restored and functional.

I am at a loss as to what to do. I love my Dad with all of my heart, but I think it is wrong to continue to store a car that has no hopes of being restored. If my Dad had the garage space it would be a no brainer and I would just tell him to store the car at his house, but he doesn't. So if I told him to get the Rambler out of my house he would have to get a storage unit (at a cost)... Which doesn't seem right after everything my Dad has done for me. It isn't that I don't have the space - it is that I can't understand why he wants to keep an unfinished car. The car has become an albatross that gets carted around. In the last 13 years the car has been moved 5 times from place to place... When will it end?

I don't have the answers. I don't know what to do. But in the mean time, I thought I would share some pictures of 1961 Ramblers that are in better condition than Roxy. Enjoy.

Pumpkin Spice Cookies and Salted Caramel Mochas

I love Autumn. Like hardcore, stalk it on Facebook, find any reason to bask in all of its glory, give it a kidney, crazy Miley Cyrus love Autumn.

Seriously.

I find myself happier in the Fall because we are all surrounded by life's little miracles. I know the leaves change colors because the trees are protecting themselves from the harsher days of winter, but as a leaf, could you imagine going out in a more beautiful way? A giant burst of color and then a graceful dance to your final resting place. Ah. Call me a romantic sap, but life just doesn't get any more majestic. Animals are fattening up. The air is crisp and toying with the notion of letting go of Summer, but hasn't fully committed to the icy blast of Winter. I love it all.

It seems to me that people are more productive around this time of year too. I guess it is a left over habit from our 17+ years in school (give or take in the American Education System). Just the sight and smell of new office supplies get me in the mood to conquer the world. If bouquets of pencils were a thing (and people actually still used pencils - to be honest) I would give them to all of my friends to celebrate this delicious changing of the guard.

And don't even get me started on the food. Stews, chili, roast, root vegetables, soups, thick crusty bread, baked apples, hot cider, cups of herbal tea, hot chocolate, pumpkin spice anything, yum, Yum, YUM!

La petite mort.

Recently, I found myself in the position of baking tens of dozens of cookies, brownies, rice krispie treats, etc for a bake sale to raise money for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society (DONATE! Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Leukemia sucks!) and decided to add a little Autumn to the mix by baking Pumpkin Spice cookies.

Guys.

These are the easiest, most delicious cookies I have ever made. And people love them. Love love. Like I just washed my bed sheets, curl up and snuggle, stretch out my toes, first kiss, electric kind of love. Don't believe me? I baked 7 dozen of those little guys just for my friends and family outside of the bake sale, and they were gone in 24 hours with people begging me to make more. They are the crack of cookies. I don't know what crack is really like, but it seems to me that people with a crack problem, love their crack. Right? Right.

Pumpkin Spice Cookies!

For this recipe you'll need:

Cookies:
8oz Cream Cheese, softened
1 1/2 cups Brown Sugar, packed
1/2 cup Sugar
2 Eggs (left out for 1 to 2 hours ahead of time - always best to bake with as close to room temperature ingredients as possible)
1 cup Canned Pumpkin
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
3 1/2 cups All Purpose Flour
2 1/2 teaspoons Pumpkin Pie Spice
1 teaspoon Cinnamon
1 teaspoon Baking Soda
1 teaspoon Baking Powder

Frosting:
2 cups Powdered Sugar
1 teaspoon Cinnamon
1/4 cup Butter, melted (measure out the butter, then melt it)
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
2 to 3 tablespoons Boiling Water


1. Preheat oven to 350. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper.

2. In Kitchen Aid Mixer or with hand mixer, beat cream cheese and both sugars until smooth.

3. Add eggs one at a time and mix thoroughly.

4. Add canned pumpkin and vanilla extract and mix thoroughly.

5. In a separate bowl, combine flour, pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon, baking soda and baking powder and lightly mix together with fork or whisk.

6. At a slow speed, add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in 3 separate turns. (this will keep the dry ingredients from blowing up into your face when you turn on the mixer and also, it will incorporate everything a little bit easier.) DO NOT OVER MIX - once everything is well combined, stop. Do not keep beating. Your cookies will turn to hockey pucks. And no one will eat them. And all of this effort will be for nothing.

7. Place rounded teaspoons of dough on cookie sheet about 2 inches apart. These cookies are a little cake-like so leave room for them to expand. Bake 10-12 minutes. For my oven 11 minutes was perfect. Once done, remove from oven and let cookies cool on a wire cookie rack (if you don't have a wire rack, just put some parchment on a clean counter and let cookies cool there. It'll make it easier when you go to frost them anyway.)

8. Let cookies completely cool.

9. For the frosting, combine powdered sugar, cinnamon, melted butter, and vanilla extract in a bowl. Mix with a fork. Slowly add a tablespoon at a time of the boiling water until the frosting's consistency is a little runny and can be easily spooned or drizzled.

10. Use a spoon and drizzle/puddle frosting on cookies. Let frosting stiffen on cookies for at least 20 minutes before stacking or packaging cookies up. I placed mine in a big tupperware container with parchment paper separating the layers of cookies and placed the whole thing in the fridge.

Well, off to take the sidekick for a walk on this beautiful, crisp day. :)

Forever Yours,

The Unemployed Diva

 

Life on a budget...

Where you one of those children that as soon as your parents told you not to do something, the only thing you could think about was doing that one thing? I can't honestly say I was or not, but I do know that self control has always been something that I've struggled with.

 It started with, "I should do my homework, but hanging out with friends, this tv program, or cleaning the dust off of this obscure object is so much more fun." Then it transitioned to, "I really shouldn't have dessert every night this week with dinner, but HEY! You only live once! What happens if I die tomorrow? This one piece of cake seems to be very tiny in the grand scheme of things." And now my lack of self control is sitting at an all time high (or is it low? It's whichever one you don't want it to be... haha). It's concerning my budget. Dun Dun Dun!!!

When I left my job, I sat down with my monthly bills, looked at my expenses and planned a budget. The only reason I felt comfortable with starting this whole new endeavor is that I have enough money to support myself and pay my bills all the while not having to radically change or downgrade my lifestyle to do it. That's important. But now that I've started on this process I've been spending a lot more time at home and am starting to get money stir crazy.

Everywhere I turn I see opportunities for new shoe racks, area rugs, fall decorations, new bath towels, etc! I had not a single one of these urges while I had income coming in, but now that I don't, there's a little voice inside my head that keeps saying, "BUY! BUY! BUY!" I'm pretty sure that we've all finished grade school math and have survived by knowing at least basic addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division (calculus? Screw calculus!). So you know that if I spend more than the allotted amount and buy all of these wonderful things, I'm going to be poor. Like poor, poor. Like my sidekick, Bella, is going to have to dramatically cut her bone a day habit. Cold turkey.

So why now? Is it because I'm home more? Is it out of boredom? Is it because an area rug really would bring this room together?!? All I know is that I need to find a way to curb these urges and get my uncontrolled self into a self controlled state of mind. If I don't, this whole plan goes by the wayside, and I will be back just having a job that pays the bills and my dream will be go on hold. Again.

DEEP BREATH

I

CAN

DO

IT

!

Now off to not spend money and enjoy the start of this beautiful weekend.

Forever yours,

The Unemployed Diva


P.S. The other day I made kale chips... this is how they turned out:

 http://youtu.be/wbewEkC5U88

To Done List!!!

It's almost inevitable that at some point or another you've filled out a 'to do' list. Normally, they are filled with things like clean this, finish that, start everything... And most of the time, they are so incredibly overwhelming, that unless you are a super duper to doer, it never gets done. Womp womp womp. Yeah, and that sucks because it makes you feel like you are never good enough and/or you don't manage your time wisely.

So here's the deal. Instead of tracking things that you want to do, track things that you've done. It's a great ego boost and helps you see, big and small, everything that you've accomplished. It ends the day on a positive note instead of bringing baggage over to the next day. What I like about them is that you can literally put anything on this 'to done' list. If you are having a particularly rough day, put down that you got out of bed or showered. Normally you don't put things like that on a list, but you know what? Some days call for it.

Now that I have been home, left to my own devices for a few weeks, showering is not always mandatory because I'm not always running errands or going out all of the time. Showering always makes me feel better though, so I put it on the list. Flossing? I hate it. Do I feel accomplished when I actually do it? You bet. It's also going on the list. (side note: why do people hate flossing? It's not painful or hard to do... I think it's because we hate getting all up in our own grill.)

When I started this practice it was amazing to me to see how much changing the perspective of the chores I was doing affected my day to day life. I felt better about what I had done instead of feeling bad about not finishing a predetermined set of chores. Try it. See if you like. I did.

I have to give credit where credit is due. I didn't not come up with this practice all by myself. I wish! I've been spending more time on the internet looking for part time job and trying to get all of the school paperwork filled out, and found it as I was trolling multi-tasking.

Hope ya'll are having a wonderful day and good luck on your own 'to done' lists!

The Unemployed Diva.

Older! Wiser! Still up to the same old crap...

Isn't it funny how one day you can wake up and just have an epiphany that will change the path that your life is on? I guess that is the very definition of epiphany - a realization that just smacks you in the forehead one day and screams at the top of its lungs, "DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!".

That's what happened about 6 weeks ago. I had a ta da moment that lead me to quit my high paying job to go back to school to become a history teacher.

Yeah.

 In a perfect world, I would have stayed with my current job until I was finished with the necessary schooling requirements, but it just couldn't be done. My schedule was all over the place, and unless I wanted to get my degree from an online university, there was just no way to balance my work and home life. Don't get me wrong. Online universities are fab for some - just not me. I need the classroom experience. I love walking into learning institutions. It's addictive.

So why now??? I thought about this long and hard and this is where the epiphany comes in. Honestly, it came down to I'm almost 30, I don't have a family to support, and I have enough in my savings to make this a reality.

Am I scared?
Shitless.

Does this fall into what Tim Gunn would call a "make it or break it moment?"
Hell yeah.

Am I super excited?
You bet!

What it really came down to is that at this point in my life I can either choose to be living the life I want to lead or I can just aimlessly wander around on this planet letting other people make my decisions and only staying in my comfort zone.

It's time to get out of my comfort zone. Let's get ready to rrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuummmmmmbbbbblllllleeeeeee!

One thing that has been completely surprising is that the people in my life have taken up two camps - Pro and Con. Some think that I am absolutely bat shit crazy for taking this leap. Others have said that they 100% support the decision to completely rearrange my life if it is something that I would enjoy more. I think this is a great metaphor for life. Some are willing to take the leap and others just squash it down inside themselves and continue the hum drum. A close family member constantly talks about past work experiences and the life that could've been. It makes me wonder that if that person had taken the leap if they would be ultimately happier considering they barely tolerate their current job and treat it more like jail sentence.

I wholeheartedly believe that you should feel a certain amount of passion, excitement, and overall sense of joy in your work and if you don't, then you are not where you should be. I am chasing that spark, and believe with every ounce of my being, that this is going to be the moment that I look back on and say, "here's where my life got on track."

Could I fail?
Absolutely

Could the nay sayers be right?
Yup

Do I care?
Not today.

If I do end up on my face as a result of this decision then so be it. At least I can always say that I tried. And isn't that what we are ultimately doing here on this planet? Trying to get where we want to go; constantly growing and evolving along the way.

So here's to this new journey and thanks for coming along with me.

Forever Yours,

The Unemployed Diva