So lately I've been spending more and more time at the manfriend's house (having hoards of open free time will do that to you)... Here's the thing though - my man? Not so domestic. I know that men just don't have the eye for detail when it comes to cleanliness that women have, but how can they ignore Mt. Trash Can in the kitchen? And Soap Scum Paradise in the Bathroom? If my living space is not in harmony, I can't concentrate. I mean literally.
I. Cannot. Concentrate. At. All.
Which is why I spent the whole morning cleaning my man's kitchen rather than lounging and watching TV (like him) or sending out trillions of copies of my resume and cover letters. I just couldn't take it anymore!!!!! I couldn't take the film of yuck that layered his stove/floor/refrigerator/microwave. I couldn't take playing 'what's on the bottom of my sock' one more time after I went to the kitchen for a glass of water. I definitely couldn't take heating up a mug of hot chocolate in the microwave and wondering what grossness was left in the microwave to bake with it (yum! added flavor!)
But here's the thing. Have I stepped over a boundary by playing Cinderella today??? Should I have waited until he was inspired to do it himself and then praise him accordingly for doing it (much like how one praises a child for using the potty at the appropriate time)? I sure as shit don't want to take on The Nagging Girlfriend role, but then again, I don't want to have to wonder what exactly that... ewwwwwwww .... is on the floor either. Ah! Such a line to walk!
So today, as I was cleaning, I did the only thing I could think of: I berated him for being a filthy, dirty boy (in a total nonsexual way) and told him that he should be ashamed of his housecleaning skillz (yes. skillz.with a Z). I know. Super mature. I just couldn't help it. With every bucket of dirty water, resentment grew inside of me. I mean. COME ON. He's 30 years old! Is gainfully employed! Has lived on his own for at least a decade!
HOW DOES HE NOT KNOW HOW TO CLEAN UP AFTER HIMSELF?!?!?!
I'll tell you how. Women. Women from previous relationships. and even his own mother, have enabled him to go on without ever having to touch the Spic and Span. My brother is the same way - I honestly don't believe my brother would know how to dress himself without Cupcake (his girlfriend) at the helm of his closet.
Ladies, I think it's time that we teach our men how to fish instead of keep throwing them cans of tuna. Yes. It's going to be a hard, long war. Yes. We are going to have to overlook streaks on the mirrors, missed spots, and inappropriately folded laundry, but in the long run - it's for the best. Just think - after 20 or so years of training they'll be able to finally load the dishwasher, empty the garbage, and throw a load of laundry in just like we do EVERY FREAKING DAY without feeling taxed, over-worked, or slighted.
We can do this! All we have to do is band together and buckle down. Hoo Rah!
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