My Neck. My Back. My neck and my back.

Let's give it up for the Friday reference. Yay!

So the last time we spoke, I was brainwashed by Snookie (thank god there is a spray to get rid of that!) and killing myself on the wii fit plus... Well today, I'm smelling of fabulous Icy Hot (it's the new 'now' scent for this Unemployed Diva) and have been bedridden for the past 2 days. Why, you ask? I'll tell you why. Because my wii board is a sadistic bastard who broke my back that's why. :(

Yesterday started off as any other normal day. I woke up, went pee (yes, I went there) and as I was walking back to my bedroom to get ready to wii fit, I thought to myself, "Hey! These socks you are wearing are not a safe choice! You could slip! And fall! And crack your head open! And without health insurance - none of those things sound like something that you want to participate in." So, I simultaneously reach down and bring my leg up to take my right sock off and POP! Goes my back. Then comes the excruciating pain. I almost collapsed in my hallway it hurt so badly. I steadied myself and gimped back to my bedroom.

Ready for the funny part??? The funny thing is that I thought I could just walk off my POP! and would be fine to continue what I had originally set out to do... exercise with wii fit.

HAHAHAHAHA!

I know.

I laughed too (through the tears of pain at how insane I was to even consider it exercising). I even bent over to pick up the wii board to place it in prime exercise floor space... Well let me tell you. After picking it up, another round of excruciating pain racked through my body, and because I couldn't fathom putting the wii board down (because bend = ouchie ouchie owie owie boo hoo), I walked, with the wii board still clutched in arms, over to my bed and collapsed.

And that's how my past 2 days have gone. Bedridden. Barely able to move (I couldn't even lay on my stomach because it hurt even to breathe). Smelling of Icy Hot. And popping Advil like tic tacs (and if you knew me, you'd know that I HATE taking pills. HATE! IT! Swallowing something whole just grosses me out and causes my gag reflex to go into overdrive. Have you ever heard the expression "choking something down"? Well that's me anytime I have to take pills or eat yogurt... I literally choke it down).

Anyway. So there goes my wii fit training (damn hula hoops and marching in a parade and fun balloon adding game and jogging). I'll be lucky if I can walk by next week... let alone Just Dance to the Jackson 5 and Katy Perry... The upside of all of this is that by being incapacitated, I have not been able to make any trips to the kitchen - meaning that I have eaten nothing but random things I can reach... i.e. Snooki's pistachios, bottles of water, a pear, some pretzel chips, and a pudding cup.I can feel myself getting thinner by the moment! Perhaps this is all part of the wii fit training -  starvation portion control and debilitating injuries lots of exercise with rest after.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to be able to actually get out of bed.... If not, anyone want to be my nurse?