2013 is coming to a close. Wait. What? It's been a whole year??? Yup! And oh what a year it has been! This year has been a really big year for me personally and I want to share some things I've learned.
1. It's ok to go on your own path - even if it causes your parents (I'm looking at you, Mom!) to constantly question, "What are you doing with your life??" I've never been a traditional kind person and I don't know why I ever thought that I could go down a traditional path and feel fulfilled. I've always done things in my own time, and for the first time, I'm embracing it. Thank you, 2013 for that. It's scary as bleepity bleep bleep - but in a good way.
That first one was a big one - so let's take it down a notch
2. Almost everything cooks in the microwave for 3 minutes. For years I have been hovering over my microwave waiting and checking and waiting and checking. Nope. Not anymore. Very rarely is anything over or under heated if you set the timer for 3 minutes. I now spend that time checking Twitter. Follow me @kunemployeddiva #shamelessplug #sorrynotsorry
3. People pleasing is always a no-no. I always thought helping and doing everything to please others as much as I could was a good thing. ERRRR! Wrong. Very wrong. Super duper wrong. With cherries on top. I had an epiphany. People pleasing is not only damaging to you, but also to the people you love. How, you ask? When you are doing something to please someone else at the expense of yourself - it helps no one. You resent yourself for not standing by your convictions and resent the person that put you in that position in the first place. I'm not saying to completely disregard others - what I'm saying is that doing something for someone should never give you that icky exasperated feeling. You know which one I'm talking about. Don't even play like you don't.
4. It's ok to love yourself AND to want to work on yourself all at the same time. Say it with me now. YOU. CAN. LOVE. YOURSELF. AND. WANT. TO. WORK. ON. YOURSELF. ALL. AT. THE. SAME. TIME. Seriously. Repeat it over and over until it sinks in. I'm going to warn you - it is not going to be easy. We have been taught by the media, old school thinking and a whole bunch of other places that the only way to love ourselves is if the person looking back from the mirror is what society sees as 'perfection'. For me, this applies to the way I feel about my body. For as long as I can remember, I have hated the way I've looked. Hated it. Despised it. And had in the back of my head for every second of every minute of every hour of every day that I was worthless because I didn't look like how I thought I should. That's a lot of emotional baggage to carry around. 2013 taught me that I really can find ways to love and accept myself and still want to improve and grow. I could probably do a whole series on this topic, but for now this is all I'm going to say about it.
5. Last, but certainly not least. Thank you 2013 for teaching me that there are going to be times when you are a good friend to someone, but they are incapable of showing you how much you mean to them. And also, there are going to be times when people are good friends to you and that you are incapable of showing them how much they mean to you. This year I have been both a good friend and (admittedly) a shitty friend. When I'm going through something the first thing I do is clam up because I think the last thing anyone wants to hear about it someone else's problems. To friends that reach out during that 'going through some stuff' period - I'm in solitary mode and am not receptive to others. Is this healthy?? Probably not. Is it behavior that I'm working on and trying to modify? Yup. Do I still value your friendship and respect you and want you there. but just at a distance for awhile? Totally.
2013 has been quite a year in both good ways and bad, but we've made it to 2014. I'm not really a person that follows resolutions, but I will say this, last February I signed a year long contract for personal training. I've used maybe 8 sessions all year. I've spent over $1200 on it. I solemnly resolve to never do that shit again and to cancel it before I get charged for another month.
Be safe everyone and have a Happy New Year!
Forever Yours,
The Unemployed Diva.
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